Jun 16, 2016

Long-term effects of abuse and how to beat the odds

Q: What are the long term effects of abuse?

AskAnAdvocate: This article from ThinkProgress.org talks about many of the long-term effects abuse has on survivors and their children.  The most important things to note are that people who experience family violence are more likely to become depressed, develop PTSD and other anxiety disorders, and also 15x more likely than the average population to use alcohol or other substances to cope with what they have been/are going through.
Also it's worth pointing out that while some people do go on to be abusive themselves, more often people who experience family violence early go on to face violence/abuse again.

There is some good news, however.  Emerging research shows that young people who can find one stable, supportive adult in their lives - a person who acts as a sort of champion and mentor for the young person - can overcome many of these long-term effects.

Not all of us can have mentors that look like this:

But really, any stable adult that you feel safe with and whom you'd like to be more like is a good choice.  Some schools even have specific mentor programs set up to help Teens and young people have a better shot at success on their own terms.  You can check out Moscow High School's program right here to apply or to volunteer!  



May 24, 2016

Just how many people has ATVP helped?

Q: How many people has ATVP helped?

AskAnAdvocate: Since our founding in 1980, ATVP has stayed incredibly busy.  Thanks to the advent of affordable personal computing power (and grants for technology), we've kept pretty good records for the last decade or so.  From 2005 to 2015, ATVP was able to work with over 3,600 individuals and their families on an on-going basis, in addition to fielding over 30,000 calls on our hotlines.  

Once you factor in our prevention and presentation work - and we did over 560 presentations and outreaches last year alone - the straight forward answer is somewhere between "a lot" and "a whole lot."  

Despite all of our continued efforts, we always need more volunteers and more community allies to help hold the people causing harm accountable.  

For ideas of how to help out, click here.  We'd love to have you aboard!  
Take Back the Night 2013

Do Conflicts really occur in all relationships?

Q: Do Conflicts really occur in all relationships?

AskAnAdvocate: Every relationship does have some friction in it, because we all are individuals with our personal desires, dreams, and opinions.  The real key to any healthy relationship (not just a dating or romantic one) is not that it be conflict-free, but that you all can speak honestly and respectfully without fear of being punished for having some disagreements.  (Remember that respect has to be mutual).  

Some great tools for healthy communication can be found here.  Basically learn to listen actively and thoughtfully.  


If you feel fear of  the other person(s) in any relationship, that's a big warning sign.  Trust your instincts; they've kept you alive this long.  

For some tools to evaluate if your relationship is healthy or perhaps has some warning flags, check out these tools:

Warning Signs of Abuse

Interactive Power and Control Wheel

The Spectra of Relationships 

Image result for Maybe he doesn't hit you
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-36257791

Remember that abuse isn't just physical.  You can read more about other people's experiences with emotional and financial abuse through the #MaybeHeDoesn'tHitYou tag and other social media awareness programs.